My Fear of Falling In Love

My Fear of Falling In Love 

Philophobia is the fear of emotional attachment; fear of being in, or falling in love

Genesis 29:18 Jacob was in love with Rachel and said, "I'll work for you seven years in return for your younger daughter Rachel."

Love has always been my greatest fear. I love the idea of love. Yet it is just and idea a thought something you see on tv or something other people can have but i cant. I know of the root of why i feared love. My parents, watching the men walk in and out my moms life, the constant kids coming but what about jasmine. Then trying to fill the love void with giving me things to spoil me for the lack that i had. I never believed people loved people it was a lie. I would sleep with men it got to a point where it didn't matter anymore as long as i got the attention i needed to fill my void for the time i needed it filled.I have had commitment issues. Ive even talked to many men having a boyfriend at the same time because I didnt want to get an emotional attachment to one and them leave. One night stands and not even looking back like it was something natural. I got all i wanted out of it.I love the idea of love its so beautiful. But to actually go through with committing to being in love. I try but then im left with caring for someone whose not there and im alone so theres no point its a joke

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